


One call away

by vcdbtch2



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boys In Love, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Happy Ending, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Love, M/M, Merthur - Freeform, Suicide Attempt, suicidal Merlin, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:54:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26696326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vcdbtch2/pseuds/vcdbtch2
Summary: Merlin desperately needs someone to call, too bad no one answers the phone.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	One call away

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning for attempted suicide

Merlin crumpled against the door with a quiet sob, still clutching his his jacket in his hands. He leaned against the door and buried his face in his jacket in an attempt to muffle his loud sobs but his attempt was futile. After leaning against the door for a few minutes, his shaky legs finally gave out and he crumpled to the floor. He brought his knees to his chest and buried his face in his knees as he tried to calm himself down enough to work out what he was going to do. The day started out like any normal day, until he arrived at work and was told he was being let go. Now, that wouldn't be too bad, seeing as he hates his job and every one of his co-workers, but the problem was the job was the only thing keeping him stable. The job barely paid enough to keep his apartment and he realised if he didn't get a new job soon, his landlord would kick him out and he would be homeless. Sure, one of his friends would probably let him crash at their house for a few weeks but he couldn't do that to them, he couldn't be a burden.

When he finally calmed himself down enough to stand up, he walked to the bathroom to splash cool water on his face. He turned the tap on and splashed cool water on his face, taking a brief moment to enjoy the cool chill than ran through his body when a few droplets slid down his shirt. He turned the tap off and brought his head up to look at his reflection in the mirror and his breath hitched at what was staring back at him. His hair was a mess, mainly from him anxiously running his hand through it on the drive home. His cheeks were flushed, the water droplets sliding down his face like tears-though he was pretty sure some were tears. His eyes weren't the vibrant blue they usually were, instead they were a dull grey surrounded by dark eye bags. An overwhelming rage washed over his body and he gripped the sink, his nails scratching against the metal in an attempt to stop himself from lashing out and punching the mirror.

The beep of his watch brought him out of his thoughts and calmed him down enough to let up his grip and he suddenly remembered it was time to take his medication, though Anxiety meds seemed kind of worthless right now. He wiped his nose with his sleeve as he opened the cabinet door and grabbed the bottle of pills, popped the cap off and poured the pills into his hand. When a few more pills than he had intended fell onto his hand, he found himself running his thumb over them as his mind raced. He promised himself no matter how bad things got, he would never resort to this. But after everything that was going on in his life, nothing seemed worth it anymore and he thought 'maybe promises can be broken'.

That's when an image of Arthur's smiling face popped up in his head and he realised he did have things to live for. He had his friends, the friends that didn't even have to acknowledge him, but they chose to. He scooped the pills back into the bottle and walked over to his phone, his hands shaking in anticipation, or maybe it was because he hadn't taken his meds yet. He leaned against the kitchen counter as he scrolled through the contacts with trembling hands until he finally came across Arthur's. He pressed on the contact and brought the phone up to his ear, squeezing his eyes shut to stop himself from breaking down again with one thought running through his head: 'Please pick up'.

It seemed luck was not on his side today and the dial tone eventually ran out. He bit into his knuckles to keep his sobs in, wondering how the hell he was going to get past this. A shrill 'beep' pulled him out of his thoughts and Merlin realised it had flicked over to Arthur's voicemail. He felt himself calm down just a little upon hearing Arthur's voice on the recording.

"Hey Arthur, uh i know you're probably at work or something but i guess i just called because i got fired and i just feel like everything is crumbling around me and i can't fucking breathe. I'm not sure what i'm going to do now but it's pretty bad so i want to tell you that you mean the absolute world to me and i would die for you, a million times over. Hopefully i'll be okay and you'll get this message and come over or something but just in case, i just wanted you to know. Goodbye, i love you"

Merlin hung up the phone and let the phone slip through his fingers, it falling to the floor with a dull thud. He let out another choked sob and put a trembling hand on his mouth to stop himself from screaming his voice hoarse. His heart was pounding in his chest so hard it felt like it would break through his ribs. His throat felt like it was closing and suddenly he couldn't breathe. He pushed himself off the counter and stumbled his way back to the bathroom, grabbing the pill bottle and tipping the contents in his hand. He ran his thumb over the smooth pills and closed his eyes, trying to find the light in the darkness of his mind but it never came. Without a second thought, he brought his hand to his mouth and swallowed the pills in one go. He cupped his hands under the running tap and used his hands as a cup, gulping down the water like a lifeline and swallowing the residue of the pills that stuck to his mouth.

With the main part over, now all that was left to do was wait. He clutched the sink again and looked at himself in the mirror, staring right back into his dull eyes. He hadn't even realised he was getting lightheaded until he made a move to leave the bathroom and stumbled. His hearing became muffled and he swore he could hear the shrill tone of his phone ringing in the distance but that couldn't be, who would want to call him?.

As the world started to tilt on it's axis, Merlin briefly thought he heard someone pounding on his front door but he convinced himself it was just his heartbeat in his ears. He allowed himself a small smile as his vision dotted and the ground seemed a lot closer than it did before. Just as his body started to feel light and he realised he was falling, he felt strong arms catch him before he hit the ground and pull him to their chest.

He looked up through hazy eyes and could make out the familiar blonde hair and red shirt and if he wasn't delirious, he could have sworn he felt something wet hit the side of his face. His eyes trailed down from blue orbs to plump lips and he followed their movements, though nothing seemed to be coming out of them. He heard a very faint sound of someone screaming and felt a strong hand on his cheek before he felt his body become light and darkness finally overcame him.


End file.
